It's Late

and I'm tired.

I woke from a dead sleep. Here I sit. Missing my little boy...who isn't so little anymore.

I can't even begin to describe the pain, frustration and sorrow that is going threw my head right now.

Why couldn't it be different?
Why couldn't my love been enough?

These are just a few of the things that I can't seem to figure out. That at 2am often haunt me.

I don't wish this on my worse enemy. (Trust me...I've wished some nasty things on m asshat landlords the last few weeks...).

Tonight it isn't about C and the loss that he had. It's about me. I really, really miss my boy. I really, really wanted to be his mom.

Infertility sucks!!