Monday, May 31, 2010

no name post

Updated to say: NNNNOOOO faith the systme will do him justice!!!!

This week brought some changes to my brothers situation w/his 5 year old. Without going into details...I will say that my nephew will most likely be at our home often this summer.

My brother will be learning what full time parenting is all about.

The last 24 hrs have proven to be challenging as my nephew has refused to eat the food offered to him by us. His mother feeds him nothing but crap. Now my family and I eat out often. However, our children eat what is offered w/little exceptions!

We went to moms today and after 2 hrs she 'kind of' gave in and tried to offer something different. It didn't go so well.

This is a HUGE issue and this child is VERY overweight. He NEVER was until recently...last 12 months.

Why can't people just love and care for their children? Why does mental health issues have to interfer and cause people to make such poor choices? This maddens me so incredible much. This kid is a good boy. But there is some major issues. Some minor RAD issue for sure.


I wonder how long it will take to provide stability for this child. I know how our state runs and I have faith there will be justice to my nephew and brother. Because we are dealing with a corrupt system.

Oh I have so much more thoughts on this I want to share but my fingers are cramped usung my blackberry

Monday, May 24, 2010


came home from school with...

*Spring in her step.
*Had a great weekend.
*Proved to me that Ms. M (therapist) was/is right.
*Had a good day (I think) at school.
*Was an all around pleasant person to be with.
*Made sense

As I mentioned in my last post...Ms. N has been a bit of a challenge. Our theory on why I think was proved by her staying home with us this weekend, due to obligations that her mother had. Which was fine. I'm glad she was home. I actually, think i would like her to stay home w/us for the next 2 weekends until her mom has her move back home. One weekend I cant though. I think that my 10 yr old will be having some friends over and well....1 less child in the house might be helpful. Specially the child that requires 24 supervision and cognitively is a toddler. And well, some days 10 yr olds are not very interested in having toddler, I mean 6 1/2 yr olds all up in their business.

And something that I've wanted for her to happen for a long time....

Her hair is FINALLY long enough to put in 2 big puffs. kind of. The back fell out. I gave daddy permission to wake mommy up b4 school tmwto do her hair. I took her braids out tonight. Swearing right and left that and in one hand upset that I will be done w/the braids in a few short weeks and in the other hand thankful that I odn't have to deal w/that part of life.. It is bitter, very vitter sweet.

I would give anything to take those braids out.

It is my prayer that as she goes back home to live w/her mother that life will work itself out and all will be well this.time.around! Because in the end...that was all I ever wanted for Corry.

Bitter Sweet. Very Bitter Sweet.

Friday, May 21, 2010

I sure do...

love the attachment therapist that we saw w/Corry.

It has been 10 years since we first saw her. The lady is truly one of the best in my opinion she was so helpful and supportive during our times of extreme issues with Cor. Even when Cor wasn't living at home and her patient. She was always a phone call away.

One evening during a very particularly hard time after our disruption she called me. She had mysteriously heard from someone (aka my therapist at the time) that I wasn't doing well and could probably use a call from her. We talked for a very long time that night. Very.Long.Time. She shared w/me things about her own family that I didn't know. Many that I did. Many that I didn't. She shared that she also, lived this heartache many years before and she knew what that heartache felt like.

We've never lost touch. We are FB friends. Even though she doesn't really do anything on FB. When I send pictures or updates via email about our family, she is always on that list.

From time to time I consulted w/her regarding Ms. N. Ms. N's mother mentioned she didn't feel that she needed to see a therapist. We felt that if anything we needed to see her for added support and ideas during this proccess.

I'm so incredible greatful that we have. Today was maybe one of our last appts with Marilyn. We did not take Ms. N. Truth betold - we need every.single.break we can get from her because she has been so Passively Defiant and RAD filled behaviors.

Her perspective on why the behaviors have been what they are was so awesome. So meaningful. SOOOOOO helpful to my heart. Even though we can't change the situation what she told us today from the things that Ms. N's been doing at our home and at school was validating.

Validating to the point of almost tears. As I drove and drove and drove for work today. I thought about the words that she said. Thoughta bout the things that this wonderful lady whom I respect so much....what they meant.

I am not going to share them right now. Maybe after Ms. N' goes back home to her moms. As I mentioned in a previous post, this blog is not private and so RIGHT NOW those things I'll keep to myself. Think about and pray about. And in the end...hope that everything works out FOR Ms. N....

If you want to know what it was - email me and I will tell you.

And what I will also say that she pointed otu some very distinct things in my own thoughts/character/feelings/ect ect....

The grieving proccess is LONG and hard. It has been a long road since Cor left....some days better than others. Many days better than others. So much more to say. So few tears left to shed. So for now...I'll end with....

If you haven't read my previous post "Be Still My Soul" please do.

Be Still My Soul

A few days ago Diana posted the following lyrics in a comment to this post.
It is a song that I often hum the words to while working. Actually this song and several other hymns...especially "I Stand All Amazed" and a few Primary songs. case YOU need to hear this as I it is.

"Be Still, My Soul"
by Catharina von Schlegel, 1697-?
Translated by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897

1. Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

4. Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


I'm lazy....

and didn't really realize which blog I was posting to....
because I was doing airline searches at the same exact time....

I meant to post THIS here. So instead of reading it all right here....

Feel free to HOP on OVER to MY other BLOG and read my latest post titled...




I'll add this here. I found "another" REALLY cheap flight. If I could leave on Thursday morning.
I can't. I can't be in Milwaukee and on an airplane on Thursday at Noon. I just can't. There is no way possible that I can miss my "quarterly" pick. Doing that would mean I would seal my fate of the next 3 months of my work schedule and probably land myself in the psychiatric unit at the local hospital. And as appealing as the break might be some days....I've btdt and I don't care to go back...