A Day of Nothing

That is exactly what I'm doing.
Not a darn thing.
Well, maybe unpack a dish here and there.
I was scheduled to work from 2-10pm on a rather bad night run.  My old one to be exact.  I have a PICC line and it itches and hurts from time to time and.....I just don't feel like leaving my house.
So I called in sick.  I have 2 FMLA applications on file.  One for the PICC line/infusion treatments and one for anxiety/depression.  And so....I decided to use today as a mental health day.

And...I'm doing just that.  Taking a day.  To CHILL and RELAX!!  On my new deck. In my new lounge chair.  In the sun.  With my laptop and my dogs.  Only thing better would be my dh sitting next to me.

Today...I will channel my anger into something positive. I will channel my grief into something posttive.

I can't promise that tmw will be a good day.
I can't pormise that tmw will be a bad day.

for today...I will just sit and relax.  And pray that I can keep  it this way.

Happy 17th Birthday

I can't even begin to blog about how incredible difficult each of Cor's birthdays is for me. We share our birthdays 1 day apart.  And prior to our disruption/TPR it was always a big deal. 

Cor and Mom - Celebrating our Birthdays 1999.  Mommy was VERY pregnant and Cor loved to hold Momma's BIG belly



The last week has been a whirlwind of activity and in the proccess of buying a house, moving to our new house, having a PICC line inserted and having it go not so good, and then a very tragic accident involving a friend of mine.  In the process of the whirlwind the reality of Cor's bd creeping up on me....didn't really sink in until I got my first "Happy Birthday G" phone call.  "Crap...it is my birthday....that means it is Cor's bd....crap!!" 
And....the pit in my stomach began.

Cor and his baby sis Ab...the day Ab came home from the hosptial.  Mommy was sleeping.  Grandma was having fun and taking MANY pictures while Mommy slept and Daddy worked.



Cor's 6th BD 2000

My heart hurts as I  think....

17 yrs old

Great Article on Recovering from a Loss

This evening I came across this blog link "Can you actually RECOVER from a Loss?"  It is very powerful.  The quote/comment at the beginning of the article = powerful.  To me anyway.  Hope you are able to find some sort of good out of it.