There is Healing.....

....for me. 

...slowly.

....very very very very....SLOWLY!

This evening....I was childless.  I was husband-less.

Thank the good Lord!!  Oh' how I needed just some "me" time.

My BIL came over.  Changed the locks in our new house.  Reprogrammed our garage door openers.  Did a few other misc. things.  He was in-out-gone in less than an hour.

I walked around in my fat shorts.  AKA: biker shorts and tank top - incomando and braless. 

Because I can. 

I then....went out into the garage.

Looked for a hammer.
Looked for some nails.

And decided to pound some holes in my walls. 
And decided to look in some boxes and hang up a few pictures.

And....the very first box I opened....was a box that has not been opened in several years.  As in....3-4 yrs.

After our disruption we also moved.  I never hung up the "adoption day photo collage" and other pics of Cor.  There were a few pictures that were put in my dresser drawer.  That was about it.

The first large frame that came out of that box (remember I had no clue what was in this box...it just said "pictures")...was our "Adoption Finalization...Mommy was big and fat and pregnant and we were a happy family.....and our Family Sealing Pictures that were taken the day after our finalization".

Ouch.

Or it could have been.

I looked at it and thought ...."yeah.  where is this going to go". 

I was not able to find a spot that I felt was appropriate.  It isn't something that I want to be showing out in the open for just anyone to comment on.  I am not sure that I am ready for the constant reminder...every day....but somewhere.  I think in our downstairs family room is where it will end up.  I stuck the frame in my closet w/the other portrait frames I don't know where to put.  It did not go back in the "don't hang up and file away pile" like a few of the frames.

There are times when I can't think, talk, look, see, here....anything that has to do w/this situation. 

And today....I'm able to see a picture and think 'Hot dang that boy is good looking"

And leave it as....

it is what it is.
it is out of my control.