Wednesday, July 20, 2011

There is Healing.....

....for me. 


....very very very very....SLOWLY!

This evening....I was childless.  I was husband-less.

Thank the good Lord!!  Oh' how I needed just some "me" time.

My BIL came over.  Changed the locks in our new house.  Reprogrammed our garage door openers.  Did a few other misc. things.  He was in-out-gone in less than an hour.

I walked around in my fat shorts.  AKA: biker shorts and tank top - incomando and braless. 

Because I can. 

I then....went out into the garage.

Looked for a hammer.
Looked for some nails.

And decided to pound some holes in my walls. 
And decided to look in some boxes and hang up a few pictures.

And....the very first box I opened....was a box that has not been opened in several years.  As in....3-4 yrs.

After our disruption we also moved.  I never hung up the "adoption day photo collage" and other pics of Cor.  There were a few pictures that were put in my dresser drawer.  That was about it.

The first large frame that came out of that box (remember I had no clue what was in this just said "pictures")...was our "Adoption Finalization...Mommy was big and fat and pregnant and we were a happy family.....and our Family Sealing Pictures that were taken the day after our finalization".


Or it could have been.

I looked at it and thought ...."yeah.  where is this going to go". 

I was not able to find a spot that I felt was appropriate.  It isn't something that I want to be showing out in the open for just anyone to comment on.  I am not sure that I am ready for the constant reminder...every day....but somewhere.  I think in our downstairs family room is where it will end up.  I stuck the frame in my closet w/the other portrait frames I don't know where to put.  It did not go back in the "don't hang up and file away pile" like a few of the frames.

There are times when I can't think, talk, look, see, here....anything that has to do w/this situation. 

And today....I'm able to see a picture and think 'Hot dang that boy is good looking"

And leave it as....

it is what it is.
it is out of my control.


Sheri said...

Yay! Lots of love to ya.

beemommy said...

Happy for you for the progress...did not shut you down, good for you!