............and it is way to long till it comes again.
I knew it would be hard.
I knew it would be great.
I knew I would meet some awesome momma's who are doing way more than I could ever dream of.
I knew I needed to go.
I knew it would be life changing on so many levels.
I went in w/very little expectations.
For myself - I needed to do that.
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Adoption disruption is not for the faint of heart. It isn't for everyone. I can't even say it is for anyone. As in who the hell goes into adoption saying "Well....if I don't get my way, if my kid doesn't attach, if this or that happens....we will disrupt". No. That isn't the case. And unfortuante for so many parents (momma's) this is the general thought among others. At least, in my experience.
I've met very few people in my life who have been, who are, who can, who want to.....understand. And that goes for members of my family. Close friends who are no longer friends. Professionals who call themselves Professionals. And the list goes on and on.
Among the 65-70 women who landed in Orlando from all over the USA and Canada there were a select few of us who have disrupted. I didn't not get a chance to connect in a way that I was hoping.
There were a couple of ladies who are walking that fine line that I did get to spend a little bit of time with. I wish it could have been so much more. I would have given anything.....simple anything....to spend a few more hours, another day....another week.....with one of those ladies. To love on them. To be loved. To laugh. To cry. To just BE!!
3 comments:
I agree, there aren't many out there who've been there, in the land beyond holding out hope for it to work. In the land beyond throwing in the towel, or having it ripped from your hands, or burnt in your while you were holding it. I cannot wish there were more like us, it just isn't in me, but I do long to be understood, for someone to have true empathy and not to just be empathetic. You are not alone...as Corey would say....Truly, you are not.
Please know that even though I wasn't in Orlando, I am here with you in the same boat, rowing right along with you. We may not be getting anywhere today, but we're not alone.
Sorry we didn't connect. I was overwhelmed with the number of women there and trying to match them to their blog or fb. There's always next year.
Oh how I wished that I could have been in Orlando. I, too, need to know other mamas that understand ... without judging.
Though we have not met ... though we've never spoken ... I hope you KNOW that I am walking this walk with you.
Hugs!
Laurel :)
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