Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Channel Your Anger

A few days ago I posted on my other blog a “story” (or link to a story) from Angie.  Check it out – Patience and Pottery is the name of it I believe….


This is something that I’m thinking about doing – seriously.


In brief Angie took a very pretty white pottery pitcher and smashed it.  She then piece by piece hot glued it back together.  It was in a sense a way to “Channel her Anger” at the same time feeling the spirit as she put it back together piece by piece.  Taking a look at the path her life had taken her down and so forth.


I’ve thought about this a great deal.  I’ve even woke up in the middle of the night thinking about “what piece of pottery” I could break. I don’t have anything.  C broke what I did have.  I just don’t have a “lots of pretty’s” so to speak. 


I had my psychologist suggest that I break something(s) a few weeks ago when my PCP found the lump in my breast and then how the chain events took course over the following 2 weeks.  I personally thought she was crazy.  I personally thought “wow…those pregnancy hormones must have her really off kilter”.  LOLOL…  She wasn’t crazy.  What she had to say really made sense.  It isn’t in my personally to do something like this.  Yet, what I’ve been doing isn’t really helping. 


So what is my point? 

My point is..I need a way to channel my anger.  I need to do something positive with the negative.  I feel like it is eating me up inside.  Yet at the same time I’m afraid to even begin. 


My last therapist I had suggested that I “channel my anger” into something positive.  When I think about C’s bd, anniversaries of important dates, and all that other crap that is hard…I need to turn it into something positive. 


I’ve got a something in my head I’ve been thinking about for a few years.  I really deep down want to do.  They ONLY person who knows what I’ve been thinking about doing is my husband.  Part of it is going back to college, earning a degree.  The problem is the “degree” that I want to earn – scares the living chit out of me!!  Not the actual “job” but the “getting” the piece of “paper”.  I suck at math. I suck at English. I suck at many things related to education.  I’ve got common sense. I’ve got the concept.  But if I have to “do math” in order to get a degree well….there might be an issue.  J


Anyway…just some random ramblings from me today.


Brenda said...

Thank you for your thoughts about ending therapy. Your ideas makes much sense. I am quite sure our attachment therapist would be fine with this as he has emailed me during the week many times before. This is my first time to your blog. I will be back!

Beth said...

Hi I have been a lurker on your other website-- I found your blog from a mom who adopted from COTP (I volunteered there two times in less than a year for over a month)- I have been reading because I am an occupational therapist who currently have a student with RAD on my caseload and work in the schools -- unfortunately he is misplaced in our autism program because someone along the way gave him a PDD diagnosis but honestly some of your words from your original blog have helped myself and the teacher working with him understand more-- every kid is different but your words help us so much... Thanks so much for sharing your story