Monday, Monday...Just another Manic Monday...

Is that how the dang song goes? I just have the tune in my head. Don't know the words. I know that my Monday has been...a Manic...Monday!!!

First I had an 'issue' at work.  Rather large issue.  Well, it could have been.  Thankfully, my Heavenly Father saw fit to offer me some grace today.  Lots of sufficient grace!!  I was very nervous about my 'detour' that I had to go through. Because...well, I was.  I was afraid of screwing up. I was afraid of taking a wrong turn, getting stuck on a street with a 40,000 lb, 43 foot vehicle and be stuck....  I was so nervous that the dyslexia in me did what I was so nervous about - turned left instead of turning right....Because of where I ended up it could have been a much larger problem than it was.  I called on my phone in the bus. Was told "oh'...i think you have got yourself into a pickle and may not beable to get out'.  Well, I WILL get out...  LOL  Anyway, I was sweating it a bit.  But in the end it worked out.  The supervisor came and I followed him around to another street and it worked out.  Put me very late.  But it worked out in the end.  This was just the start of my very long and trying day.

 

Some other "things" that added to my Manic Monday.....

 

**Entertaining my 6 yr old all day because he couldn't go to school. I had a dr. appt and decided to not come home in between my bus routes. It is hard to entertain a very over active 6 yr old, hobbling along, in 30 degree temps, w/very little to no money....

**Had a recheck for the lump in my breast.  I decided to not inflict pain when there is no pain currently involved....thus I will not have it aspirated at this point. It is clearly a fluid filled cyst.

 

**Found out that our cat was readopted almost immediatly after we took her to A.nimart - she hated our dog and was way to stressed over him.  I feel good about her getting a new home so quickly.  Very good!!

 

**The HR person from my last job (at the clinic) emailed me.  "Gala, you want your job back?!?!?!?!?!?"   That was all it said.  I emailed back..."WHY?"  He emailed back "because......" and proceeded to tell me.    It is a big choice.  My heart is so conflicted right now.  OMGosh is it ever.  I love driving.  I love that Metro will 'always' be there.  I love the benefits.  I absolutely 110% hate that I am only part time. I can not support my family on only part time.  I can not support my family when there is no school and I dont' have to work.  I waited so long for this job (took nearly a year from the time I applied until I started).  I've worked so hard to keep this job. If I give it up...in 6 months I decide I want to come back...there is no 'just going back."  Ihave to start ALL OVER.  I hate that I don't know when I will go full time.  The EARLIEST I will be promoted will be next summer.  Most likely...not until January 2010.  Could be sooner.  But it probably not be before that....  What do I do??  If I go back...I would have to take the insurance.  Yet, it really stinks....

 

OMGosh...I can't even begin to think about it.

 

**Long story short...my dh went to an intro meeting for foster care last week.  He was told by the director that it was very 'unlikely' that we would be able to become certifiied due to our termination w/adopted son.  It wasn't for sure.  But it would make it very hard.  She said she would look into it.  I was very upset last week with this issue.  I had hope and realize 100% that "we" did all we could.  She looked in to it.  She called James back today.  The asshat social worker from I. County....well lets just say that if you are not familiar with R.A.D....in short I will say that in a child with RAD... some of the time the well meaning, clueless, dumb, asshat people who become involved in your life (including some therapist and psychiatrist) blame everything on the ADOPTIVE MOTHER.  This time is no different.  In the eyes of this SW the other county told her that they 'proceeded w/a TPR" and it was because of me....  Yep...blame it all on me!!  Stupid S.O.B's!!  I have more to say.  However, it is just not productive.   Have you ever picked a scab and then poured salt on it?  If not...I don't suggest it.  How I'm feeling/thinking right now...is exactly how that feels.  Not to good!!

 

**Realized today that maybe I need to try harder to implement some things into Bry's life and school life...He loves school.  He really missed not going to school.  I loved being with him.  However, I do love working. 

 

**I've gained way to much weight in the last 12 months, in the last 6 months, in the last 3 months.     It must come off!!!  I kid you not....come hell or high water...it will come off!!

 

So there you have it. It is only a portion of my day.  There was/is some other things I've not highlighted.  However, I jsut don't have it in me tonight...I think I will be snuggling into my bed a little early tonight.  If I drank I would grab a bottle of wine and sleep my night away.