Thursday, June 18, 2009

Where I left off...

I left off somewhere in the midst of Corry being placed in a psychiatric hospital. I had contacted DFHS and got no where. The school was backing us 110%. They saw the extremely disturbed side of this child. They were living it along side of us.

Our plan for when we did bring him back home to live with us, is we needed documentation. Lots of it. We had a psychiatrist who kind of got it. The positive thing was his problems were not because of my lack of willingness to bond w/him (we had previously been blamed for being the problem...or should I say I...I...I WAS BLAMED) therefore...it was a sigh of relief having a pdoc who saw Cor for who he was and include me in the factor.

Heck I don't remember if I wrote about what got him hospitalized or not. I'll...start...there for now....

DFHS was able to offer us respite...at our cost. They told us of the person. We called her. We set it up. We provided 110% of the transportation. We provided her with $20 PER HOUR plus $$ to do fun things with....

Are you familiar with children who have Reactive Attachment Disorder and are going to DAY respite or respite in general??

Let's just make sure I get my point across....

RESPITE (SPECIFICALLY DAY AT A TIME) SHOULD NOT BE FUN AND GAMES...

To say I was quite resentful of having to provide this chick with $$ to take my son out to eat, movie, some other form of FUN when he had bit me, threatened to kill his family members (and tried to hurt them), had pissed all over the house....resentful was an understatement. HUGE one as a matter of fact.

But we did it. It was all we had. It was a huge financial burden for us. We didn't have an extra $100 laying around. Heck $100 could do wonders for our family for a fun outing.

After going to respite Cor would come home and be 110% worse than he was when he left for the day. We tried to make the day special for our 3 yr old. A break from her brother. Yet, he would come home and talk about all the fun things he got to do like go to the McD's playland, zoo, ect. He would then demand we go do these things with him all.the.flippen.time. He begged to go to her house. He only went a handful of times because things went from bad to worse when he started going to her house.

Cor was obsessed with deer. In a very sick manner. He would draw pictures. Elicit (sp?) pictures. Anywhere. On his sisters wall and then deny he did it. WTH..she is 3 she can't even write her name let alone a picture of a deer who was shot and had blood dripping from its head....s'rsly...I'm not stupid...that was drawn on his sisters wall one day.

One particular Sat. after picking Cor up from respite he insisted that this lady let him shoot a deer. We let him know very matter of factly that we knew he was not telling the truth, that kind of lying and/or story would not be tolerated and if he continued to feel the need to talk this way he could do so in his room. Plain.Cut.Simple.Dry. He raged for the following 20 minute ride home. He screamed and wailed. We never believed him. We didn't love him. WHy didn't we just let him live with this lady. She loved him. She took him fun places. She was the good guy...we were not.

We arrived home only to have this battle continue. We did not engage him. We let him fabricate his story on his own time, in his own space...

it didnt' work so well.

Our night ended w/us calling the cops. As he raged unmerciful. Things were damaged. Things were pee'd upon. Life was not good in that evening.....

....more later. I just received a phone call from the missionaries. They are coming over for dinner = unexpected = me ordering pizza cuz I don't have dinner planned and our left-overs will not feed 2 young college age men....

1 comment:

RML said...

Sounds like a very difficult time for you... and still continuing. I hope you one day you can heal. You sound like a wonderful person in a very difficult situation.