Thursday, July 2, 2009

Therapy Appt with Dr. A - w/myself

This post will be short and not so sweet.

Dr. A's reccomendation was that Cor not return home.
In her report she did not exactly put that. However, she did put she refused to release him to a residential home.

From M_ he would go to a Residential Treatment Center. Finding one was the hard part. One that could meet his needs. It took a little while.

During my meeting with her we discussed the extent of Cor's illness. Because of his age, she could not truly dx him with what she truly felt was going on. Let's just say it was a rather depressing day.

This was the 2nd professional telling me my son should never return to live with me.

What had we done?
What had we gotten ourselves into?

There is so much more that I could write but will not because emotionally I just can't go there. Most of it I have blocked out of my memory. Not sure why.

What I know it was the beginning of some of the darkest days/weeks/months/years of my life.
What I know is it has defined a part of me that some might say is the new Gala...


I've been asked over the last year or so to think about who I was before all this transpired, who the person I would like to be, ect ect...

Someday I might write about that. What I will say is that before this experience I did not deal with depression in the way that I do now. Heck, I didn't even really know what it was to be brutally honest.

I'm writing this for me. If along the way it helps someone - GREAT!! But in the end this is for me. I don't really know what I want to get out of it. Maybe it is to look back and read when I'm all done and be able to believe that we did everything we could. I don't know the answers. I really don't.

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