Sunday, January 30, 2011

It's Gonna Be Alright....

If you say so! ;-)

I have listened to this song by Sarah Grooves more timews in the last 2-3 weeks than ever. It is a close mix between this song and 'F*ckin Perfect by Pink'

Two very different genre but both very much the same in the realms
Where I find myself.

I've had the same cell phone number ever since --- I got a cell
The day before my youngest was born 8.5 years ago. And my dh has had the same for as long
As I can remember him having one--about 6+ years.

We NEVER give our home number out. When Cor's group home dad (he's had several since) got ahold of our home number 2 yrs was tough. Jms gave him his cell w/strict orders to NNEVER call the house again.

Its happened. A few times over the last month or two.

Then my cells been getting calls.

Unlike my DH...I will change my number. It will be tough. But I will do it.

Part of me feels guilty for thinking that I should. The other part of me screams 'WTH leave me the eff alone' and rinse and repeat.

It's Gonna Be Alright...
Somehow-i keep telling myself.

1 comment:

Diana said...

It will be. You have to keep believing that.

It's just a phone number, honey. Change it. It's really not that big of a deal to do it, either. I just did it last fall. You need the space to heal right now way more than you need to keep the same phone number. The people who love you and who need to find you will still be able to with a new phone #.

And you know what? Its ok that your DH doesn't change his. While I certainly don't advocate any of you attempting to reconcile or even remotely reconnect at this point (if ever), it's still ok not to burn bridges. It's ok to keep that avenue open for future communication SHOULD everyone be in a place where they can handle it.

That time isn't right now. But one never knows what will happen down the road. Just as he doesn't know what your life is like right now, or what you've been through in dealing with this whole messy mess, you don't really know where he's at with working through his stuff either.

It's ok to give yourself the space you need to heal right now, though. It's ok to just let the rest of it be. It's ok if dh chooses to talk to him and you don't. It's ok if yo take different paths in healing. And, it's ok to let go and move on.