Sunday, January 16, 2011

Should(s) much of what SHOULD of been!

As I sat yesterday (and will be several times over the next months) heart was full so full of gratitude that I have healthy children. That my daughter was competing AND raising money for St. Jude Hospital. Full of gratitude for the ability our family had to be @ this 20th year celebration.

And as with so many milestones that we have and are meeting with Ab, my heart is full of sorrow as I think of all the things tht SHOULD have been.

I watched the young men Cor's age competing for gold medals at EVERY LEVEL and fought back tears at what SHOULD have been.

I'm in no way saying Cor would have been competing. No I'm not. I know he loved to tumble, flip and trampolines and I'm sure given the opportunity could have been one great power tumbler!

It's a tough spot I'm in. As logic, daily life and such tell me we did our best and we know tht the outcome would not change as our son is to sick to live in a family.

Yet logical and grief don't always agree.

1 comment:

FosterAbba said...

Grief has no logic.

(And it shouldn't, anyway. Otherwise, we'd all be like Mr. Spock)