The last few days I've really struggled with the reality that my family is complete. That my two beautiful children will be all that I will ever have.
I read fellow bloggers who have 4, 6, 10+ children and I can't help but wonder "what it would be like?"
What is one more child?
This weekend we had the little girl we do respite for. As we do nearly every weekend. Her older sister, M who is 7, came along. It was a great time. My 2 children and M had a sleepover on the living room floor. Something my children have never been able to do. They stayed up till midnight, ate cheeseballs and watched "Cheaper by the Dozen".
Recently, I had someone say to me she worries about the impact that N has on me. How having a 3rd child adds more stress and so forth. Sure, I can see the stress that comes about having the 3rd child. Specifically, when that 3rd child has significant medical issues along w/her
RAD-i-ness behaviors and there are days when I truly am pulling my hair out.
Then again....I pull my hair out w/my own children some days.
We added a 4rth child this weekend. It was great. Truly, it was. The girls (the older 2) picked up sticks for $$ in the yard. We had a nice dinner at the mall. We did some "shopping" and got headbands (check my other blog to see the collage...and you might see a handband/scarf).
When I look at our experience and how the disruption has molded myself, my family, the dynamics....it breaks my heart. It truly does. All we ever wanted was what was best for Cor and the rest of our children. I guess, in the end..what was best for Bry and Ab was to be in a family of only 2 children....
My heart doesn't always think that though....