Beginning

James and I were married in January 1994. I was young and relatively immature.

After a few months due to health reasons I was no longer able to take birth control. No problem. We truly felt that if our Father in Heaven wanted to have children we woudl have them. In his due time. If I were to get pregnant than it would be meant to be. If not than not.

After about a year we decided that maybe we should look into why I wasn't getting pregnant. At the time our insurance covered basic infertility testing as it related to my health.

In the spring of 1997 fertility testing showed that I would not get pregnant on my own. Due to how my body reacted to sperm it was virtually impossible for this to happen. We were given the statistics on invetro and artificial insemination. We knew there was no way we could take the risk financially and end up with not getting pregnant or not being able to carry the baby to full term.

At that time we contacted LDS Social Services and began looking into adoption. Their policy was 10% of your income with a minimum of $4000 (for infant) and maximum of $10,000 (for infant).

Because we were not financially in the spot to go foward we put it on the back burner.

During all of this time a very good friend of ours was doing daycare for a little boy from our church. At one point I also did daycare for this little boy. The little boy was left shortly before he Christmas the year he was born - 1994. Just a few months old his birht mom left him with Grandma for a few weeks. During which time his grandparent received full custody of him. Over the next 3 1/2 yrs - this little boy lived with his grandparents. His birth mother in and out of his life. In and out causing more chaos than anyone could ever imagine.

We became friends with his grandparents. Including this little boy in our life. We took him quite a few weekends. We took him to family gatherings. We became attached to this little blonde haired little boy.

We were told by our good friend K that this little boy's birth mom was going toh ave her parental rights terminated. The BM also had another chidl who had been born (around 1997ish..same time this was going on) who was taken away at birth because mom tested positive for drugs.

One day while we were at church I pulled this little boy's grandma aside and told her that we were told by K that a TPR (termination of parent rights) was in order. We would be interested in finding out more information and possible adopting this little boy...this little boy's name is C.

Grandma told me that it would be a long haul. That the process was just beginning and that it wasn't for certain. I remember that day very vividly. I remember putting my hand on her shoulder and saying "Sister E...if it is meant to be it will be...I just want you to know that James and I are infertile. We will be adopting and we would love to find out more information".

We left it at that.

We still celebrated C's 3rd birthday with him as if he were our own child.
We took him to have his pictures taken - I was working as a photographer at the time so that wasn't to hard.

Months went by....

MONTHS (at least what seemed like MONTHS) went by....