Monday, April 28, 2008

Circumstances in regards to our Disruption

I decided to "write" this now instead of waiting 'till I get to that point in our story. It will make more sense as I might post different things on how I am feeling or what not.

For those of you who know our "story" C was in a RTC for some time before a TPR went through. The state of WI has this "un-official" law that children who are in state custody (aka...foster home or residential treatment centers or psych hospitals) regardless of the reason there is a "time limit". Once a JIPS or CHIPS (our case a JIPS) is in place then there is a "15 out of 24 mo" limit as to how long a child can "technically" be in either a FH, RTC, ect ect.

That is not really t he "law". How do I know this? Our SW from the county told us that. He told us that as long as C it was felt that C was not re-adoptable than we could remain guardians - his parents and he could remain in RTC, Group Home or Treatment Foster care.

We said ALL ALONG that if the foster family he was with was interested in adopting him than we would voluntarily terminate. We wanted what was best for him. We were told that this was not an option. We were told that he was 'no considered to be re-adoptable due to the severity of his R.A.D and behaviors.

Well, something happened. Minds were changed. We didn't agree. We didn't fight. We had no fight left. Financially, we were not able to fight. Emotionally we were not able to fight. We just had to say "enough" and "let go and let God"....

It was a very dark time in my life. I will elaborate more later on.

My point I want to get across is that we were not supportive of this. We did not want to terminate. We only wanted this as last case scenario. We were told "he is now considered to be re-adoptable". We later found out that not only was he "not doing good" but the "foster family was no longer interested in adopting him". IF and I repeat IF we had been told this....things would have changed drastically in how I have felt about this situation. At least there would be closure.

Instead - he has not been adopted. He doesn't have a mommy or a daddy. He is an almost 14 yr old orphan.

Sometimes life just sucks!!

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