Wednesday, April 23, 2008

"It's Okay Mommy...No Cry Mommy...

I was devastated and releaved all at the same time.

CB and her dh talked to us about termination. She told us that from what our therapist had told her she didn't see that Cor could make it in our home ever. At that moment we "thought" about it. We didn't know. We were not experienced. We were in shock. We were torn and tattered.

Abi at this point didn't talk very much at all. She said 1 or 2 words max. She refused to go to anyone other than James or I. With the exception of 2 people. My friend Martha and the owner/founder of the foundation. The owner of the foundation also started a daycare center. MsAbi went to this daycare 5 days a week for 2-3 hs a day. She would SCREAM non stop unless she was with Cheri in her office. If anyone else came into her office...she would scream.

My mom could not hold her. Rarely could my mom or any family member make eye contact w/her. This started when she was 3 months old. Not the typical 10-12 mo. old stranger was 3 months old.

Our pediatrician wanted to give us a referral to be evaluated because she didn't walk, she didn't crawl (until late) and didn't talk. She did sign basic signs and I was able to get what I needed from her and communicate. But no one else was able to. She was attached to my hip 24/7. I could not have a conversation w/a stranger or friend. I had just got to a point where I could make a therapy appt. for myself, take toys/snacks and she woudl be content. As long as Joan wouldn't look at or talk to her...she would be fine.

Many of my family and friends would joke and make fun of how spoiled she was. Told me I shouldn't keep nursing her. I needed to just 'let her cry it out'. I knew that there was a reason she was this way. In my heart...I knew. I knew it wasn't normal. And I just needed to protect my baby as much as I could from the dysfunction and huge stress she lived every day. we drive away from CB's home and leave our little boy...I'm sobbing. We weren't even at the end of the road and James and I were arguing...out of stress and grief...I'm sobbing some more...

"It's okay Mommy.....No Cry Mommy....It's ok?"

This little girl NEVER said more than 1-2 words at a time. She spoke a WHOLE sentence.

It will be okay...Yes will be okay.

We have extended family that lives in WV which was not far from where we were at. My mom had called her Aunts and arranged for us to go visit them. We weren't going to stay over night w/them. We just wanted to be alone. I knew that MsAbi would freek out and so we just wanted to stop and visit.

We pull up and MsAbi starts jabbering away. Jabber that we could understand. We went in and visited. And this little girl was a different child... My Great Aunt and Uncle and my mom's cousins all said "Your mom said she wasn't very friendly....she didn't talk and wouldn't allow us to look at her or talk to her....She lied". We tried to tell them that this wasn't normal fo rher.

Then the next morning (we decided to stay overnight) we were eating breakfast. Tradition is that ALL of the kids and grandkids come home for home made biscuts and gravy...oh' it was so good.

What does Abi do...She eats. Gets down from her seat and starts CLEARING THE TABLE!! They all laughe and giggled that this lil 18 mo. old would "take u pate?" And then take it to her Great Great Aunty and put it in the sink.

My little girl came out of her shell.....

BOY did she EVER come out of her SHELL.....

With in a few days she was talking non stop.
With in a few days she was walking non stop.
With in a few days she had no fear of anyone.
With in a few days she participated in 1 yr old room of more spending time w/the owner.

I will never forget my mom saying to me "I'm soooo sorry that I didn't completely believe you...I can tell by seeing this baby...that things were bad." Over the next little while I heard my mom 'support' us on a hole new level..

I missed my baby boy...

The respite was wonderful.....

The respite was stressful.....

My baby girl flourished like never before.

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